I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
