so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
