yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
