I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
These tits shall not be calmed
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize