so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
