We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.