So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
