brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize