There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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