Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
