$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
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