i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
