Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
