We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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