awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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