did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
