Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
