he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
