Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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