If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Randomize
