barbara walters just said penis...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
