loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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