Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
