I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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