Apparently you make a good broom.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
