I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
