i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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