Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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