I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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