Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
