I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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