I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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