My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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