I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"