I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder