Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The adults are the big ones right?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
