The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
