Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
