I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
NoShamevember. You game?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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