Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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