I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
