did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
