Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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