win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
