Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize