hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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