Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
