Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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