Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
