im six kinds of drunk right now
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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