wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
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Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
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I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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