So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
