think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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