My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
