from now on my penis is your penis
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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