Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
there was a trapeze. enough said
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
