someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
