ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
