I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
