Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
