She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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