Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
