Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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