is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
